Don’t Believe You Can Reach Your Goals? Here's the Secret to Shattering Limiting Beliefs

We all have limiting beliefs and some of them are responsible for keeping you from fulfilling your goals and living the life that you want to live. 

Limiting beliefs are subconsciously held assumptions or convictions that restrict a person’s potential, capabilities, or sense of possibility. Essentially they are beliefs about ourselves formed through experiences we’ve had and the subsequent decisions we’ve made about the world and ourselves. We then apply these beliefs to future experiences (real or imagined) and this becomes a filter for our decision-making. 

Limiting beliefs can negatively influence decisions, actions, and overall quality of life. However, changing these beliefs can lead to personal growth, increased confidence, and better outcomes in various areas of life. And the good news is that you CAN change them. 

There are different types of Limiting beliefs. Personal ones like, “I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy” are common. My coach NLP Master Practitioner, Damon Cart told me, “This is not true, this is a generalisation. There is no way of measuring self-worth, it doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as good enough, not enough - this is a duality.”

It’s true, I mean there’s no such thing as a ‘Self-worthometer’ where we can take a reading. Equally, that’s not to dismiss the idea that many people feel this way about themselves and, if they do then they can reframe this by working with a personal coach or potentially for much deeper childhood-related trauma work, a therapist. 

Other limiting beliefs that are also considered to be common include but are in no way limited to: 

1. Career, "I’m not leadership material, I can’t manage people, I will never find a better job or I can’t balance life and work.” 

2. Social, “I can’t speak in public, People don’t like me.”

3. Financial, “I’m not good with money, I don’t deserve to be wealthy, There are no good opportunities for me.”

4. Success and failure, “Success is for other people, I’m not that person, No matter how hard I try, it will never be enough”

Life, “I have no purpose, I don’t know what my purpose is.”

The interesting and somewhat sad truth about this common occurrence with us humans is the fact that we tend to accept and live with the idea that, “This is how I am, I can’t change it”. What if more of us asked, “What do I truly want?” or “How can I change this belief?” Would anything bad happen? Quite the contrary, only growth and ultimate personal development can come from taking action off of the back of these questions. 

So what can we do about changing limiting beliefs and how do we do it? 

Awareness is the first step. Without awareness, we are of course blind to the problem, the limiting belief. 

Developing self-awareness:  

1. Work on becoming more ‘Present’ or in the moment, not away with your thoughts. This can be developed by meditation, mindfulness, actively listening to others and giving them your full attention, and reflecting on your contributions and behaviour without judgment. 

2. Journaling (even if it's 3 lines of blurb. Let it jump onto the page without considering it). Gratitude journalling, list 3-10 things that you are truly grateful for and allow yourself to really feel it in your heart.  

3. Work with a personal coach 1-2-1 or in a group. This will provide a safe space to explore your thoughts, behaviours, and emotions without judgement.

Developing self-awareness helps us to identify what we’re saying to ourselves, what we want, and what might be in the way of us having it - limiting beliefs. 

Taking action is the next step. If you’re serious about changing limiting beliefs (that are only made true to the individual, from their perspective) then action is required: 

1. Set small achievable goals that align with a new positive belief i.e. if you believe that you can’t speak in public, start by speaking in small groups and gradually increase the size. 

2. Be compassionate towards yourself. Use positive and nonjudgmental self-talk, catch yourself when you don’t do this, and change it - it comes with practice. 

3. Reframe beliefs i.e. “I can’t do this” to “I can learn to do this with effort and practice.”

4. Work with a personal coach. One way that I use in my coaching practice is called ‘Parts Integration’, which supports the client to welcome the part of them that holds the limiting belief. Every negative behaviour that we present has a positive intention at its core and a coach will help to elicit what the highest positive intention of that part is. Then the client will invite the part to support them in achieving their goal. This is incredibly powerful and people using this process often feel a real shift of energy when the part aligns with them - a permanent shift takes place and they feel like a new person. 

No one has to be ‘stuck’ with these limiting beliefs that they have developed over time, it’s a myth and that’s great news for humanity! So what are you waiting for? Time to get busy turning those limiting beliefs into GOLD!